Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize