Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
