I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
