Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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