Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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