it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
