Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
