He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
