Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
