Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
