My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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