when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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