Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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