If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize