Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
