I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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