So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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