just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
