I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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