hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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