She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
