well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So much rum. So many feels.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
