Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
