If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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