oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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