I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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