help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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