their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
