I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
