There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
