Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
