it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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