you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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