I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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