just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
