I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
