I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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