i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
