My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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