Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
