kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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