Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I see more hoeing in ur future
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