he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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