Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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