I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Semen is not good for contacts.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
