Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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