i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
