Well douche your snatch and let's go!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
