C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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