Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize