Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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