I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
