Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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