he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He better not be in your backpack
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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