Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
