If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
