Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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