thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
