I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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