That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
