i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Of course I have a pirate flag
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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