dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
