He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
