scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Im part way to drunk.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
