my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
