he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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